For the longest time, I thought I knew what being depressed feels like. Turns out I had no idea until the beginning of the year, after coming home from Berlin and swearing off marihuana, I got to know a new side of me I didn’t really want to know. I am feeling better now, and I am in no way saying that what I experienced was a ‘depression’, but I believe it was depressive symptoms, for sure. I wrote down a couple of lines to cautiously remind myself of how good I normally have it. Here I go…
I didn’t know how much smiling could hurt until it was the last thing I wanted to do.
I wanted to scream and shout or cry.
What I didn’t want was talk to anybody.
So, I smiled and pretended everything was fine.
On the inside I felt like I lost a little part of myself, not knowing if I’d ever find it again.
When I was in this dark place, I had a really tough time. Eventually, I got out of it with the help of my partner. Do you ever fall into a depressive state? And how do you manage to move on?