I’m trying to find patterns in chaos, trying to figure out my life and the future that lies ahead. When do you stop looking for something new though?
Also, I am announcing my soon-to-be-open online shop which I’m super excited about!
For some reason, I haven’t felt like myself for the last couple of weeks. I know I should be celebrating having passed my final exam in psychology. Any other year, I’d at least be excited that Christmas is ahead. This year is not like any other year. I should be happy but in reality, I’m low-key depressed. I’m saying goodbye to a lot of things, including student life, and I don’t know what lies ahead. I know that I will have to move forward soon but I don’t feel ready yet. The world has a ton of opportunities and I can literally do anything right now. I feel the pressure of choice as I’m more disoriented than I’ve ever been my entire life. Let’s just call it winter’s depression for now.
The thing is, I have a good life as it is right now. But I know it’s not ideal. The city I live in is actually really nice but I’m kind of over it. I feel like I’ve grown out of it and might need something bigger. Also, there are little interesting job opportunities in my field here. The job I have right now is okay, but not great. I know I want more but I will probably never find a place I feel as comfortable as I am here. Is it a good thing to get out of the comfort zone?
My future looks vague and I don’t have a great master plan in mind. For now, I’ve chosen not to choose anything. Everything is fine for the moment and I don’t want to rush into anything before I’m certain. However, I need to break some of my patterns. It’s starting to get boring. And boring is something I can’t handle.
On a positive note, I now have quite a lot of spare time. I decided to put my time and energy into the things I love doing. That’s partly the reason I revamped the layout of this blog. (How do you like it?) I wanted to sell merchandise for a very long time and I will start doing so very soon. My next post will launch my new online shop featuring some of my designs in more forms than you will ever need. Be sure to check back – they might make a great Christmas present! For now, I have a sneak peek of three designs right here. And boy, did it feel good to finally find the time to work on these…