Finishing school at 18, studying ‘til the mid-20s, finding a job soon after, the love of a lifetime along the way, getting married before turning 30 and having kids soon after… Is this what we need to be happy?
Life is complex and abstract, sometimes it’s hard to understand, sometimes impossible. Everyone’s different and there are no two life paths alike. In the past weeks, I got the feeling that other people think very differently about life than myself. I heard people talking about ‘life goals’ or ‘life achievements’. It felt as if they were talking about stepping stones to happiness. I don’t get that. I want to be happy now, even if I don’t achieve anything.
The concept of life goals seems too simple for the complex world we live in. Finishing school at 18, studying ‘til the mid-20s, finding a job soon after, the love of a lifetime along the way, getting married before turning 30 and having kids soon after… Is this what we need to be happy?
I don’t want to think that way. As a gay man, I can’t think that way. Marriage and kids weren’t options I could think of in the past. I had some of my own goals in my mind too, e.g. I always wanted to study at a university. Planning my educational future probably wasn’t the worst thing to do. But if something changed and I couldn’t have finished my education, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world either.
I think ‘goals’ are part of the meritocracy we live in. There are societal expectations that way heavy on the shoulders of young people. I don’t know what changed since the hippie culture of the 60s but it seems as if people were way more relaxed back then. I don’t think there’s any need to rush through life. I don’t think I’m a failure because I haven’t quite figured everything out. If I’m still clubbing in my 30s, that’s fine by me. Just like I wouldn’t worry too much about meeting the right partner at a certain time. Life is something you can’t force to happen.
I don’t want to run through checkpoints in life and rush experiences. What would I be running towards? The end of my existence?
On an unrelated note, I want to wish everyone who visits my blog Happy Holidays and a nice Christmas time without any expectations from society. I will (probably) not update my blog next week, so I also wish everyone a Happy New Year! Have fun, make memories and make mistakes! See you in 2018!