Last year I came to realize that although I love to travel, I barely spent any time living somewhere else. I never took off for a semester abroad or went on workaction. I never spent any real time alone and learned how to deal with life on my own. FOMO started to hit me: What if I will never have the chance to do that? What if now is the only time? So, I decided that I wanted to go to the city I’ve fallen in love with many years ago: Berlin. It makes sense. Berlin has a huge base of artists and designers, Berlin is German-speaking and it’s close to home. What could go wrong?
Starting from November, I will be in Berlin.
I will be working at the School of Life Berlin until Febuary. I will be an apprentice and I’m super excited about that. I’ve searched for a way to combine design and psychology for a long time and I think they’re a great fit for that.
Other than that, there’s a big unknown ahead.
I don’t know if I’ll like the place I live in. The area I live in. The people who moved to Berlin. The people who actually are from Berlin. I don’t know if I’ll like my job and if I’ll find people to hang out. I don’t know if the people I know in Berlin will have time for me. More than anything, I will be alone and without my new boyfriend. I sure didn’t plan for him to come into my life now, but I’m glad he did. I just wish we had a different timing.
It might sound crazy, but I’m scared of liking it too much.
What if I don’t wanna go back home?
What if I come home and hate everything?
What if something unexpected happens that I cannot even think about right now??
Am I over-thinking this?
Should I just do?
Will happiness find me?
Title illustration by the beautifully talented Jacqueline Kaulfersch.