Ben Leander Willgruber | Visual Designer and Writer

I’m Going to Berlin

Last year I came to realize that although I love to travel, I barely spent any time living somewhere else. I never took off for a semester abroad or went on workaction. I never spent any real time alone and learned how to deal with life on my own. FOMO started to hit me: What if I will never have the chance to do that? What if now is the only time? So, I decided that I wanted to go to the city I’ve fallen in love with many years ago: Berlin. It makes sense. Berlin has a huge base of artists and designers, Berlin is German-speaking and it’s close to home. What could go wrong?

Photo taken at the landing strip of shut-down airport Berlin Tempelhof the first time I visited in 2010.

Starting from November, I will be in Berlin.

I will be working at the School of Life Berlin until Febuary. I will be an apprentice and I’m super excited about that. I’ve searched for a way to combine design and psychology for a long time and I think they’re a great fit for that.

Other than that, there’s a big unknown ahead.

I don’t know if I’ll like the place I live in. The area I live in. The people who moved to Berlin. The people who actually are from Berlin. I don’t know if I’ll like my job and if I’ll find people to hang out. I don’t know if the people I know in Berlin will have time for me. More than anything, I will be alone and without my new boyfriend. I sure didn’t plan for him to come into my life now, but I’m glad he did. I just wish we had a different timing.

Bildschirmfoto 2018-10-17 um 16.23.20 (2)
(c) School of Life

It might sound crazy, but I’m scared of liking it too much.

What if I don’t wanna go back home?
What if I come home and hate everything?
What if something unexpected happens that I cannot even think about right now??
Am I over-thinking this?
Should I just do?
Will happiness find me?

And: Where?



Title illustration by the beautifully talented Jacqueline Kaulfersch.

8 thoughts on “I’m Going to Berlin

    1. Huch immer überraschend hier Kommentare von Leuten aus dem ‘echten’ Leben zu sehen^^

      Erstmal schon, ja. Mal schauen, was das neue Jahr bringt. Dich hat die gmk aber auch schon lange nicht mehr gesehen 😉

      Danke! 🙂

        1. Nein, das macht eigentlich keinen Unterschied. Hier freu ich mich sogar mehr. Ich bin eher überrascht wenn ich mal sehe, wer über den Blog gestoplert ist 🙂

  1. Quite a number of “what if’s?” But if you don’t go, 6 months from now, you equally could be thinking…”If I only went when I had the chance.” Fear of the unknown sometimes clouds our perception. Best wishes in whatever you decide. Naked hugs!

    1. I know. And that’s exactly why I have already decided that I will be going. The great unknown is still there but I know that change is usually a good thing. I’ll keep this blog updated 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts! xoxo

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