I am currently in a happy relationship, so maybe it is the wrong time to write about polygamy and polyamory, or maybe the timing couldn’t be better. I am not oblivious and know how relationships evolve. I am in a happy honeymoon state with my bf at the moment that might last even longer than usual due to me having been in Berlin for a couple of months.
Our relationship will change over time, as we change with it.
I think this process is nothing to be afraid of, nor something you have to prepare yourself for. In the end, everything happens naturally and if things feel right for you and your partner, then everything is fine. Still, change will happen and waking up next to the partner will not be as exciting as it was when you first go to know each other. Life isn’t always exciting and even if you love your partner, how can doing the laundry or balancing the taxes be fun? You make the best of what you can do, but nobody else will constantly keep everyday life exciting. In the end, you alone are responsible for your happiness.
Relationships, Expectations, Wishes, Desires
It’s a good idea to reflect on a relationship alone and with your partner. He or she won’t know what you’re unhappy about if you don’t ever tell them. Talking about even the smallest things that bother you will prevent your problems from piling up. In the past, I’ve experienced how discussions may get unhealthy if you always heat up past mistakes instead of moving forward.
There will come a point you’ll think of sleeping with someone else. I believe that’s completely normal and doesn’t mean that the relationship’s over or that the love is gone. Thinking about sex with someone aside from your long-term partner is also a couple of steps before actually doing so and no one should feel bad about that. Reason to worry might be if you don’t want to sleep with your partner anymore at all.
If you look at the statistics it seems like monogamy isn’t right for everyone.
Numbers vary, but studies show that about 40% of all people have had an affair or sexual contact outside of their relationship. A common mistake seems to be thinking that everyone is cheating – except for your own partner. This misguided thought might make having an affair the seemingly better option than simply talking to your partner about your wishes and expectations. It may be an uncomfortable topic, but looking at the numbers I believe there might be many people in strictly monogamous relationships who might be happier with different arrangements.
Are you a serial monogamist or believe the concept is outdated?
Part 2 of this post will explore the spectrum of open relationships and will be online next Thursday.