A Casual Trainwreck
The former name of this blog was ‘New Honesty’. I was set on writing about misconceptions about the gay community and stereotypes that turn out to be true. However, I’ve realized that, above all, this blog has become a place to put my private and not-so-private thoughts about pretty much anything. I will continue writing about LGBT+ stuff, but I don’t want to limit myself.
I am at a place in life where a lot is changing. Above all, I’ll finish university soon. That means I will have to become a functioning part of society somehow. That’s a terrifying thought. I don’t want a 9-to-5 job with 5-9 friends and a life circling around career goals. I never want to wear suits or business casual (whatever that is).
I am living in a bubble that’s about to burst. I really should find out what I wanna do with my life. I know, I’m supposed to have ‘goals’ in mind of what I want to achieve in my life. I should, by now, have a clear direction of where I want to go in this world. I feel like I should know things about – well, basically everything – that I don’t.
How do people do this… Pretending to know what they are doing? Living without being terrified of the unknown? What if you’re like me… What if your goals are vague – like mine? What if you don’t have a master plan in mind? What if you don’t have stepping-stones to reach, so you can feel accomplished? All I really want in life is to be happy but will happiness find me?
I know, I should be glad living a mostly care-free life, considering. I know, I should be happy that I was born in a country that’s quite open-minded, considering. I know, I shouldn’t compare myself to other people. I know, I should focus on myself when everyone else seems more interesting. I know, there are things in life I need to find out. I know, I’m not ready to settle.
I believe that no one ever knows what they are doing. I believe we’re all just living alongside hoping for the best results. I believe we are all more similar than we think we are. Maybe we just need to start talking more about it, admitting how clueless we really are.
One thing I know is, I will continue doing what makes me happy. I like writing, mostly for my myself, maybe for others who are interested. Maybe I will find out what I’m looking for, writing it down. For now, I’ll just keep doing what I think is a good idea. It’s all I really can do.
Title photo by @atwflwong