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Ben Leander Willgruber, MSc.
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Fake It ‘till You Make it

‘How long ‘til you finish your thesis?’
‘What are you gonna do after the finals?’
‘Which jobs are you looking for now that you’ve finished?’

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Hi, my name is Ben, and I don’t have answers for you.
– Hi, Ben. Welcome to disoriented anonymous.

 

I get it. People are curious. They wanna know what other people have been up to. And they don’t have the time to hear complicated stories and vague thoughts. They wanna hear everything compiled into one sentence. And you know my blabber-mouth, I’m not really a one-sentence-kinda guy. Also, sometimes I just don’t care to talk about serious stuff. Sometimes I wanna forget that the world is going to shit and have a glass of wine.

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So, I have developed two strategies to answer profound questions when I actually have no clue in real life.

A – Brutal honesty.
‘At the moment I have no fucking clue of what I wanna do with my life.’
Pros: Acceptable, honest, simple. Also, people won’t ask follow-up questions.
Con: You look like a dumbass who has no control over your life.

B – Fake it ‘til You Make it.
‘I’m figuring out my options as I wanna delve deeper into marketing and PR but haven’t found exactly what I’m looking for at the moment.’
Pro: You seem prepared and cautious and like you have a lot of control over your life.
Cons: You have to lie and remember which lie you told who. Also, people will ask follow-up questions.

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Does anyone have a better alternative to answer annoyingly profound questions when you don’t really feel like talking about serious stuff? Something that doesn’t set off alarms bells and doesn’t interest other people so much that they wanna know details? How can you perfectly fake having all the answers when you don’t have any?

Comments

  • 16. February 2018
    reply

    If I were you I wouldn\’t say anything. Just get a \”Mind Your OWN Business\” T-shirt , or any other things you want to say 😀

    • 16. February 2018
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      That\’s a great idea, actually! Thanks for the comment 🙂

  • 31. January 2018
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    You are very lucky with your \”A\” results. For me, those kind of answers are followed by: \”But how come?\” \”But you have to have SOME inkling.\” \”So WHEN are you gonna figure it out?\”, etc. What I do is say: \”We\’ll see what happens\” in a monotone voice, grunt a little and change the topic. They still look at me funnily, but it works. At least with the more superficial conversations.

  • 30. January 2018
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    This was wat my fren just told me as well.. fake it until I have it.. I\’m still thinking on how to do it..

  • 29. January 2018
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    thenafranssen

    I tell my kids this all the time…\”Say it like you mean it.\” Seems to work out in life for a lot of people, a nicer version of fake it til you make it maybe? 🙂

  • 29. January 2018
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    I would rather be silent rather than replying to unconcerned queries. Well written!

  • 29. January 2018
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    OMG youre funny! But its true! People are always the wrong questions. I remember after our wedding ceremony people would come to congratulate us and ask.. so when are you having kids? You gotta have kids fast because if not theyll have an old mom(dude i was 23 when i got married. And second of all … who are you? Are you going to provide $$$ so i can start popping kids right away!! Uyshh :/ anyways! Loved your post 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

  • 28. January 2018
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    hahaha, funny post. I\’ve recently found myself dealing with people who\’re very nosey it gets to me sometimes but i\’m managing. Your tips here will help, lol

  • 28. January 2018
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    I love your honesty. The fake it till you make it quote is used a lot in healthcare. As a new health care professional it is scary working with real patients and they say that quote a lot lol.

  • 28. January 2018
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    I hear you Ben – I used to get similar questions when I was younger. Now I get questions about \”why are you single?\” \”are you dating anyone?\” \”time is ticking – do you want children?\” – some people are just so nosey lol x

  • 28. January 2018
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    oberoiravmeet

    Why do people need to know so much about another person\’s life is beyond me. I am one of those people who freeze up at such questions. I am never able to lie and I end up mangling the truth.

  • 28. January 2018
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    Anonymous

    This post made me laugh. You do seem to have a grasp on the entire outlook here, so I think you will handle it just fine. I would like to say that the phrase \”fake it til you make it\” is not devious, really…it simply means you are upholding the status while you do major research on it or experience it enough that you feel confident to share your knowledge. If you don\’t have that level of confidence, there\’s no shame in saying so.

    • 28. January 2018
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      Thanks – completely agree!

  • 28. January 2018
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    miljance93mommysup

    First of all, this is the kind of humor I like. Second, I understand people sometimes. But sometimes I just ask myself very quietly \”Why are they so interesting\” (meaning: how could they be). We are all called no one, and we are all called everything. But those that call us \”no one\” are the ones interested in my age when they see me with my son. They are also asking \”How can you be a student, and take care of your son?\” \”Why are you so pale\”? \”What is your husban\’s job?\” \”Is your mom being kind to your husband?\” etc. Just basics, but still…

  • 26. January 2018
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    scrapbookadventures365

    I love this post! So true! Do things at your own pace and set your own goals – people can be a bit too curious sometimes! good luck!

  • 26. January 2018
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    I dont like the fake it until you make it mantra…it makes it seems like you are fake. Instead it is strive and try until its a do and done! Just keep going and sometimes I just want to shut the world up too and drink wine and eat expensive chocolate (and take good naps).

    • 28. January 2018
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      It just pulls you down when you always answer honestly when you don\’t have a good answer. Thanks for the feedback!

  • 25. January 2018
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    good article
    thank you for sharing

  • 25. January 2018
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    People can be so pushy sometimes which is frustrating.

  • 25. January 2018
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    I just say I dont want to talk about it, or I would rather keep it to myself. Sometimes, I just say what is on my mind at that exact moment.

  • 25. January 2018
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    I just say I dont want to talk about it, or I would rather keep it to myself. Sometimes, I just say what is on my mind at that exact moment.

    • 26. January 2018
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      I sometimes just share what I\’m thinking about at that moment. Sometimes saying it out loud makes it easier to process if a thought makes sense or not.

  • 24. January 2018
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    You can say you are either going to run for president of the United States or hang around with Prince Harry — that will shut them up.

    • 26. January 2018
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      That\’s gonna be a real tough story – I\’ll need a fake American ID if I were going to run for president.

      (Dear lovely people of the NSA: No, I\’m not really trying to acquire a fake American ID)

  • 24. January 2018
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    Faking it until you make it is tough. I think it feels like you\’re living a lie. I say, focus on your goals. Whatever is it, go for it.

  • 24. January 2018
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    ha ha ha your reply is amazing and one I wish I could use more often it actually shuts people up tho! I am an avid lover of fake it till you make it, I do it daily.

    • 26. January 2018
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      Only question: When have you \’made\’ it enough to stop faking it? 😉

  • 24. January 2018
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    I don\’t have a better reply than you do, lol. I need to use your suggestions but I\’m an honest jane. Brutal honesty is usually the way I answer.

    • 26. January 2018
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      Well, at least that should answer the question and make people shut up. At least if they don\’t believe they have a brilliant suggestion I probably don\’t wanna hear.

  • 24. January 2018
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    Usually with me if you don\’t know something about me, then there a reason for it. I\’d shy away from the subject, unless I\’m in a self-deprecating mood lol!

    • 26. January 2018
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      That\’s true! I have many private thoughts I keep solely to myself!

  • 24. January 2018
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    Yocana talaia

    I would just say am not ready to talk about it. No one can force too 😀

  • 24. January 2018
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    I honestly just say I\’d rather not talk about it. I\’m an adult and answer only to God so oh well.

  • 24. January 2018
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    I honestly just say I\’d rather not talk about it. I\’m an adult and answer only to God so oh well.

  • 24. January 2018
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    If you\’re going into marketing and PR, you need to pick B. It\’ll be good practice.

    • 26. January 2018
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      True but not a big fan of mixing work and private life 😉

  • 24. January 2018
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    I normally just try and redirect or grunt – I\’m not sure I\’m ever going to be able to answer those profound questions of life.

  • 23. January 2018
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    I tell everyone to FUCK OFF… But in all honesty, no one really asks me these questions – hahahaha! THEY KNOW the answer already by just meeting me and listening to me talk 😉 Really though, if these kinds of questions do really piss you off, then you should just tell them o PISS OFF because it\’s none of their business! hahaha!

    • 23. January 2018
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      Well, if I\’m not in a particularly bad mood, I won\’t tell my family to fuck off^^ But most of them realize it\’s not the best thing to ask anyways haha

      • 24. January 2018
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        LMFAO!!!!!!!! You don\’t wanna tell your family to F OFF?!?!?!?

        • 26. January 2018
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          At least not the members I don\’t know so well. And the ones who do know me well, know not to ask me such a damn question! haha

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