As I am writing this it’s been exactly a week since I’ve had my tonsils removed and besides having had to undergo the confrontation of a century regarding my OCD – hospitals aren’t a fun place to be with OCD – I (kinda) quit smoking.
It’s been a week since I’ve been on my regular 2 packs/day schedule. The past week I’ve only smoked two cigarettes all in all. It’s not that I didn’t wanna smoke and more that I just couldn’t smoke because my throat hurt so badly. The only thing I did was vaping.
While I’m pretty sure that most of the times I’m the bad influence in the relationship, quitting smoking would probably be tremendously easier if my boyfriend quit at the same time. What goes around comes around though: he started smoking again after the two of us started dating. It’s so hard watching him smoke (and I feel bad that he has started again after seeing me) that I’ve ordered a vaporizer for him too. The vape I have, the Sourin Air, was a present from two of my former Berlin roommates and I wanna add that I believe it’s one of the most ‘realistic’ smoking experiences if you happen to be looking for a vape.
Afraid of the future
I have so many good reasons to quit smoking: my tonsils, my general health, my Diabetes. And I have a great tool to help me quit smoking, the vaporizer. I’m scared that if I’m not able to quit smoking now, I never will be. And it’s not gonna get easier, that’s for sure.
I am personally not a fan of AA programs (for alcohol/drug addiction) and how all your achievements become irrelevant as soon as you have one drink, so I don’t worry if I have an occasional cigarette. I’m just happy if I am able to drastically reduce smoking. And as of now, two months after having my tonsils removed, I have to say that I have been good. I do still smoke ~5 cigarettes a day and more on the weekends but I consider that an impressive achievement considering the 30-40 cigarettes I smoked before.
It might be a stupid thought, but is quitting smoking a gateway to adult boredom? First I quit smoking, then I quit going out (so I don’t smoke) and next thing I know I’m trapped in a 9-to-5 job? I think I’m starting to spiral. Or am I?
My OCD story:
Meet the Troll in my Head
My Diabetes story:
The Truth behind my Weight Loss