Ben Leander Willgruber | Visual Designer and Writer

40 Days Without Mary Jane

Please read the important Disclaimer at the end of this post – thank you!

If you live in a Catholic country, you’re probably aware that it is Lent (fasting time). While my colleagues and friends renounce alcohol or sweets, I have decided to tackle something different: weed. Somewhere between moving to Berlin and coming back, I had too much free time on my hands and realized that Mary Jane and I became a little too close. So what better time to sober up than now? It would also reduce my munchies and be a particularly healthy time… right?

I believe many people have ‘their’ one favorite drug: Might it be booze, coffee, pills; for me it is marihuana. Ever since I’ve first tried it I have enjoyed the effects that it has on me. It calms me down, but can also make me energetic, I feel spontaneous and everything is fun.

For legal reasons, I call this photo ‘Statute-barred youth sins’.

Only in the last couple of months, I often had problems relaxing. I often felt like I was wasting time and needed to do something. I stressed about forgetting things (which I usually remembered soon after). It was time to sober up. The last event I planned on smoking weed was very daunting, with over 40 days of asceticism ahead. What I was afraid of was that my psychological state would aggravate, and finding out parties are no fun and dancing is too intimidating.

The withdrawal took about two weeks.

I didn’t think it was gonna be as hard as it was but turns out weed has more of a long-term effect than I thought. It’s not like I smoke on the daily or even every week but not smoking at all felt worse than I thought it would. Physically I was fine… Emotionally, however, I ended up in a dark place. As I described earlier this could, however, have something do to with my unsatisfying life circumstances at that point.


I missed you, Mary Jane.

I had some cravings, that’s all I will say. Especially when going out I like smoking weed, now I drank alcohol instead. Since I haven’t been properly drunk in at least a year I had expected to get there easily. Surprisingly enough, this was not the case, so my plan for saving money on drinks did not work out. The parties I went to were great, so I didn’t feel the need to be high to enjoy them. You may be thinking that I could’ve just gone out and stayed sober altogether. I didn’t know if I could’ve handled that… call me a fraud, but that’s what it is.

The forest nearby my home where I grew two weed plants in my late teens.

No munchies = weight loss?

My fasting did not only cover marihuana but I also wanted to live and eat healthier, maybe get a little in shape. I didn’t find much motivation to do sports, dunno if it was the mood swings or my general spring tiredness. I think I ate a lot healthier though. Not having any munchies I also ate a lot less junk food and sweets – my blood sugar levels were great! I expected all of this positive change to result in a little weight loss, but I even gained a little weight. Might it be true that marihuana influences the metabolism? It’s not that I need to lose weight, I know that, but after this ordeal, I honestly ask myself what did I fast for if I didn’t get in any better shape. And isn’t that kinda why all of us go on diets if we’re honest?

I feel good and think I have a healthier lifestyle than I did before. I see the positive effects the fasting time, especially refraining from weed, has had on me and I believe that most of the ‘negative’ effects relate to the withdrawal. I’m happy to say that my fears of what might happen didn’t come true! I will stay sober more often in the future but for the time being, I’m glad the 20th of April is up ahead. Happy International Cannabis Day!



Important Disclaimer (please read):

This post features some of my experiences. I am not suggesting Cannabis has a positive effect on the mind or the body. Like always, there are two sides to the story. Negative effects of Cannabis may include dry mouth/skin, memory loss and paranoia, among others (see the first link of my suggested reading for more information). I am not promoting Cannabis as a healthy choice. What you want to include into your lifestyle is your decision and I don’t want to influence you into any direction.
If you’ve ever had hallucinations, pseudo-hallucinations, schizophrenic episodes or if you’re not of legal age, please be aware that hallucinogenic drugs, especially Cannabis, may trigger a psychosis!

Suggested further reading:
Implications on harmful Effects of Cannabis by myfusimotors

Differences between Hemp, Marijuana, Cannabis by thirdeye
Cannabis Chronicles: The Woman with a Health Addiction by Wandering inside Her Mind…
Martha Steward Working on Cannabis-Based Products by Variety

More posts in this series:
A Week without Social Media | Part 1
One month without a phone
One Year Without Therapy


2 thoughts on “40 Days Without Mary Jane

    1. After 40 days of soberness I have to admit that I found that my mental abilities improved. However, I might have been more stressed. There’s Pros and Cons for both, smoking and not smoking, and in the end I feel like I don’t want this post to be part of the equasion of someone thinking of someking weed. I just wanted it to be my experiences. The most important thing of my disclaimer, is, however, that cannabis under certain circumstances may trigger psychotic episodes. If you’re not prone to that, I feel it’s everyone’s own choice if they’d rather drink, or smoke pot or stay sober altogether 🙂

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