Ben Leander Willgruber | Visual Designer and Writer

Quitting my Job (again)

As I get older, I get more demanding when it comes to the places I work at/for. I don’t expect to get free Yoga classes in my lunch break, but I cannot any more work under the same conditions as in my early twenties. I don’t want to do un-payed internships and be thankful for the ‘experience’.

When I came to Berlin, I thought that a temporary position was the way to go.Β 
I thought I’d set foot at a company I’m interested in and find out if it works for me. I expected my workplace in Berlin to be an open, free-spirited and comfortable environment but of course, things usually turn out differently than imagined. I am so much of a free thinker, honestly, I am unsure if I’m able to work in a classic business situation with regular hierarchies.

I liked the work but not so much the circumstances under which I had to do it.
It became clear quite early on that my job here wasn’t right for me. I butted heads with my boss more than once and an explosion of opinions was inevitable. I talked to him about what wasn’t right for me but honestly, it was mostly a way of sharing my disappointment.

I didn’t expect my boss to understand.
However, he did his best trying to understand where I am coming from and I realize this was harder for him than I thought it was gonna be. We made some actual changes happen and if that’s everything I did for that company in my time – making it a bit of a better place for future generations of employees – then that’s OK with me and an accomplishment I am proud of.

partners in crime.JPG

My bad mood didn’t change.
The next weeks, I was going to my job unwillingly every morning and counted the hours until I was done. The changes came too late and cost me too much energy. I lost my motivation to go to work pretty fast. Every morning when I was finishing my cigarette, I didn’t even wanna go inside. I had to ask myself if I wanted to continue.

To quit or not to quit.
For the first time in my life, I made an important decision solely based on my feelings. And my gut was telling me to have a fresh start in Berlin next year. So, I quit. Today was my last day and I still believe I made the right choice. When I return from my Christmas break, I won’t have much to ‘do’ in Berlin but I also won’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. We ended the contract amicably and there are no hard feelings on my side. And even though my boss (hopefully jokingly) said that he only takes it a little personal, we settled on me continuing my work as a Freelance designer for them.

I got a job offered as a UIX designer literally on the same day.
Short story, even shorter: I declined the possibility of applying for this job simply because I don’t want to. I don’t wanna work as a UIX designer, not at home and not in Berlin. I’ll rather sit in my room working from home. Maybe I will finally do what I came here for: find out what to do with my life. And if I can’t make that happen, at least I know I stayed true to my principles.



P.s.: If you or someone you know may need help from a graphic designer who also studied psychology and focuses on editorial, corporate and package design, please do contact me. I suddenly have lots of free time.

9 thoughts on “Quitting my Job (again)

  1. I’ve been in the same boat. But it took me into my 40s to realize a bad relationship is a bad relationship – either in my personal life or at work – and you gotta get out of those situations.

    1. I guess it’s nice to know I’m not the only one although it just sucks for the both of us. Glad you decided to move on too 😊 also: have a good holiday and the best start in 2019 😊

  2. The experience was good for you and you did make some changes in the work environment. You stayed true to your work ethic and that is commendable. Enjoy your holiday and begin anew is 2019! Naked hugs!

    1. True. I am not mad for having made this decision. It actually challenged me to stand up for myself which is something I struggle with in real life. So, thank you for your kind words! I wish you the best for 2019 and a good comfortable holiday time 😘

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